h a p p y

i don't know what's the perceived word of being happy... then again, i do know the generic meaning but how bout in real life? i just guess it doesnt applies to everyone.

my perceived state of being happy varies from time to time...

when I was young i was happy if i could get to play with my cousins and neighbours, i was unhappy if i could not.. when I was much older i was happy if i got good results and was unhappy if i didn't.. when I knew what was to be in love, i was happy that i got into a relationship, then of cos was upset when I fell out of one...

hmmm of cos not that shallow but that's just an example... hmm

so how bout right now? what's being happy all about? of cos i dont want to be someone seemingly speaking for all... so yeahh you can beg to differ, agree etc etc...

The common hearsay, i will be happy if you are happy... sweet isn't it? i think so too, then again... does the saying applies to this scenario:

if your partner is happy with someone else yet admits to you, will you be any happy?

yeahh maybe the only happy thing is, thank you for not lying to me eh? or even thank god, i wanted to tell you this for a long time too, thanks for breaking it out to me first... otherwise I seriously cant think of anything to rejoice about.

the being happy feeling somehow to me is just a temporal state of euphoria. its a good feeling that sends good vibes to your body, making your body feeling all mushy and perpectually on cloud 9.. it is the nice kinda buzz mixed with the butterflies feeling in stomach.. the kinda that most human really die for. Then again, hey reality checkback, it is a 'I feel good therefore I like it' kinda feeling... isnt it..

who doesnt likes it?

certainly i don't deny that there will be memories and details that will make me smile when i think back. The most memorial ones will still definitely be the many times spent in band with my pri sch mates... but to sum up all the happy things around which i ever remembered... hmmm sometimes i seriously do feel it is rather vague and with dimmed flashbacks...

of cos i am not someone with lousy and upsetting childhood or even upset with my current life... haha think my life is rather happening and probably very exciting as compared to many..

I just sometimes feel that being happy is rather something not so permanent and definitely harder to remember about... well as what many would say all good things are taken for granted but it takes only one bad thing to tarnish every good thing....

the only reason why i am posting this because i want to learn to see every perspective of life, just like how a kaleidoscope would and start appreciating life as a whole.. i want to learn to let go of things that i thought i never will in the past... well maybe letting go is one thing, then again, although it may intrigue and seep into my mind, but i will think of nothing already... live and let live..

life isnt fair.. read this... bi*chtalks are always around but i believe its the inferiorty complex beneath the hidden you, forcing you to slash your vicious tongue on others... how good are you yourself to twist and exaggerate facts as if they were real...

hey... does that sounds like you?

just a note before ending this post... i just wanted to redefine the whole meaning of being happy...